Danielle Bregoli Reality Show Dominates Ratings, Heralds End Times

It is with heavy hearts that we deliver this bad news. Or, rather, this bhad news.

Last week, Danielle Bregoli’s reality series debuted.

Even though the premiere was years after Bhad Bhabie first rose to viral fame, the ratings were mind-bogglingly high.

The day we have always feared has arrived.

Danielle Bregoli’s reality series, Bringing Up Bhabie, premiered on February 4.

The тιтle is a reference to her stage name, Bhad Bhabie, under which she has launched a genuinely successful, record-breaking music career.

The series did not debut on normal channels or even on a “traditional” streaming service.

Instead, Danielle made her reality debut as a Snapchat Original.

That’s weird, right?

Especially since Mark Zuckerberg has been using Instagram Stories to chip away at Snapchat just like he is at Western democracy.

But that’s not why Bringing Up Bhabie is making such a splash.

TMZ reports that Bringing Up Bhabie was viewed 10 million times on Snapchat … within the first 24 hours.

Those viewing figures are absolutely phenomenal.

In contrast, successful, long-running reality series might average 1 or 2 million viewers per episode.

Danielle’s reps point out that Keeping Up With The Kardashians only gets about 1.5 million viewers, on average, per episode.

This is not the first time that Danielle has absolutely stunned with her performance.

Her rap career took off quickly, and shattered records for her age.

She also has a certified gold single, which is quite the accomplishment at any age.

Danielle has also starred in music video and has a very lucrative beauty and makeup endorsement deal.

Her music empire also includes a 25-city tour.

Remember, she’s only 15 years old — she will turn 16 late next month.

Her career is just getting started.

You know, there are some who consider Danielle to be the cursed lovechild of Florida Man and Florida Woman.

(Yes, in case you have forgotten, she is very much from Florida)

Danielle rose to fame at 13 for her bad behavior — with acts so outlandish that she had a police record.

She is now on probation, and is expected to remain on probation until she turns 18.

She insulted Dr. Phil (to his face, not just behind his back like everyone else) and challenged his entire audience to a fight.

That challenge became a meme, and she was able to use that momentum to remain astonishingly relevant.

If you really want something to keep you awake at night, TMZ reports that Danielle has further career aspirations.

They’re told that she wants to dip her toes into the world of television (not just on Snapchat) and even the movie business.

Imagine turning on your television and seeing Bhad Bhabie as a guest star on Law & Order: SVU.

Imagine going to the movies and seeing a movie trailer featuring the Cash Me Ousside girl herself.

Is the world ready for this?

Well, it had better get ready — because it doesn’t look like anything can stop Danielle Bregoli from dominating any industry that she enters.

Doom is upon us all.


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